Fuller Minds

Minds that are not always empty

Until..

We read inspirational stories about people who have lost everything in their lives and because of their strong-will and never back down attitude, their life got back on track within few months. That gets you wondering…where you went wrong when thing got worse. As far I know, all of us show strong-will and never back down attitude in testing times.

When you want to do something on your own, something you’re quite passionate about, but you are re-directed to the “better things”. According to whom? The world? But you accept it anyway, eventually. Until…you don’t.

Adjusting to new things in life can be hard and challenging. For some people it might take years to adjust to something! But somehow you overcome those challenges and make peace with life and start making progress. Until…you don’t.

One thing you have learnt quite early in life is: it won’t give you what you want. It is probably why I don’t make an effort in making things go my way anymore. Why should I? It feels waste of my time. Who needs things I don’t already have, when I have enough things to keep me occupied. Until…I don’t.

I don’t run behind people who have left me. Why should I? They have their reasons and I have mine. Again, who needs people in their life when I have enough materialistic things to keep me occupied? Until…I don’t.

I have entertained people in my life who have come waltzing into it, claiming they love me. Even though I knew they didn’t. Even when I know I didn’t. Until…I did. And then, I don’t anymore…

Life is the little things we enjoy doing and take pleasure from. Until they become the reasons people hate us.

But we are not the people who fall under the category who crumble under such scrutiny and whither, we do fall under the strong-willed and never back down category. Until…we don’t.

We are the people who have planned out our entire lives at the age of 20. We have mapped out things to be accomplished by so and so year, only having accomplished 1.5 things out of 5 milestones set for the next ten years.

So here we stand ten years later questioning ourselves, where did we go wrong in life?

No doubt each and every one of us goes through ups and down in their life. We have a period in our lives we question ourselves. What I did not realize is this period can go on as long as it wants.

Of course we can blame our families and the society for the way our life turned out to be. But that would not be the truth.

Then what is going wrong in your life?

It is you, yourself! You have seen so many things go wrong in your life, you are worried if you choose something or pick something to be happy about, it would be jinxed. You are denying yourself to be happy by jinxing your thoughts.

Allow yourself to be happy. Allow yourself to have the life you deserve. Don’t let the past define who you are.

If are not happy in a career you have not chosen for yourself, set it on course correction. Explore your passions and see where it takes you..

If you find a person you love enough, likes Alfredo Pasta. Make two dishes of pasta: Alfredo pasta for them and Arrabiata for you, instead of making it a deal breaker. No one said relationships are easy, especially when you don’t want to be referred to as the “Crazy aunt with twenty cats” at your ripe old age.

Don’t turn your back on people you care, when they leave. Fight for them. Give it a chance! You will not know until you try.

Surround yourself with people you love and are there for you. Negative people only take you down with them.

Don’t look for validation from people who are not leading your life. They don’t know the first thing you are going through or have gone through to be where you are today. Their validation does not matter. Your happiness does.!

Portraying yourself as a victim is too easy. Conquering these thoughts and the people who are determined to pull you down is a challenge. Take this challenge up and prove yourself: you are worth it! Not to the people who keep judging you, they are just noise in the background.

And after you have proved yourself that you are worth it, you still feel there is a missing piece in your life’s puzzle. What is it? When are you going to find that piece that completes your life? How long do you need to look for it? Does it really exist or is it a just fragment of your imagination? Or do you need to accept that this is how it is going to be, make peace with it and move on?

For some people it just takes few months and others it might take longer to get the answers to these questions. Time is a variable, I am aware. “How long?” is the question that’s been burning me for years now!

Some days in the background, some days in the forefront, due to the triggers.

State of merely existing is pure translation of living in an unconfined jail. And waiting for life to throw you the proverbial bone is excruciating!

Saudhamini Mylaram

HR by profession. Reading has always been one of my favorite things to do apart from gardening, cooking and driving.

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